witnessing the self

it's a trip

Inside this clay jug
there are canyons and
pine mountains,
and the maker of canyons
and pine mountains!

All seven oceans are inside,
and hundreds of millions of stars.

The acid that tests gold is here,
and the one who judges jewels.

And the music
that comes from the strings
that no one touches,
and the source of all water.

If you want the truth, I will tell you the truth:
Friend, listen: the God whom I love is inside.

Kabir

I’ve been thinking about the self. Not myself (though, of course, I’m always thinking about my little self and my little proclivities, can’t help it), but The Self. This is a different definition than that of myself — the one that gets annoyed because someone said something weird to me or pissed off because for some reason New York drivers like to honk as SOON as the light turns green. Or really because they’ll honk for any reason. 

No, it’s the self that is present for all of it, the great witness of our lives. Not the ego or the drama self that we play out in patterns and relationships over the course of our lives (though I love thinking about that too). The self that is ever present within us, watching, patiently waiting, rooting for us, beside us through it all. 

Stop for a moment as you read this

See if you can notice that self within you 

Aware of it all

The one that’s noticing you as you make your morning coffee 

The one that’s paying attention as you talk to your best friend 

Not the chatter in your mind, the quiet presence that sits within you, a silent witness

It is very easy to be at the whims and mercies of life. I myself fall prey to it almost all the time. Until I realise who is here with me, driving the train. It’s the Self: the awareness within me, my consciousness that sits there watching, knowing.

I manage to strengthen it through daily meditation practice. Through reading poetry. Looking at a pattern in nature. Connecting to my body. And of course, dancing — always dancing. The cool thing about this Self is that even when I’m not strengthening my connection to it or my conscious awareness of it? It’s still there. It laughs when I make my little mistakes. When I play out the many dramas in my head, it’s right there with me. When I tantrum, it’s there. When I do anything I deem to be shameful, it’s there, not taking it seriously — just existing. What a relief. 

What do you do to connect to the Self, the god, the consciousness within you? 

Also!!! Come to my Body Temple Dance class on Oct 18 where we’ll be strengthening this connection. The energy of the self can get really big if you let it. It’s humbling, really.

With love,

Nora x